[THE FOLLOWING IS A SERMON GIVEN AT THE WORSHIP SERVICE OF THE EAST
JEFFERSON CONGREGATION. BROTHER KEVIN WAS RAISED IN A DENOMINATION AND
UNDERSTANDS THE SERIOUS DANGERS OF MARRYING OUTSIDE THE LORD'S CHURCH.]
WE HAVE MANY young folks who are now dating, and also many more who will
be reaching that time in their lives when they are going to start
looking for someone to spend the rest of their lives with. This is a
very critical time for a young adult Christian, one that should be
approached with much thought and consideration before doing so. If I
may, I would like to share with you some Scripture and some thoughts
centered on the question, "Can I marry outside the church?"
I would like to begin by saying that this is a very important decision
that you will make in your life. The most important decision you will
ever make, obviously, is the decision to obey the gospel, to become a
Christian. The second greatest decision you make will determine whom
you will spend your life with.
I would like to discuss with you, that there is a whole lot at stake in
making this decision. And, if not approached carefully and
scripturally, it could lead to a lifetime of misery and spiritual
destruction.
(Read Genesis 6:1-6) We find here that God was grieved because of the
increased wickedness, which had spread across the face of the earth.
This wickedness was a result of the "sons of God going in unto the
daughters of men." This reasoning also continued in Genesis 27:46 which
says, "And Rebekah said to Isaac, I am weary of my life because of the
daughters of Heth: if Jacob take a wife of the daughters of Heth, such
as these which are of the daughters of the land, what good shall my life
do me?" In Genesis 24:1-4, Abraham tells his trusted servant that he is
to go back to the land of his fathers and find a wife for his son,
Isaac. And a generation later we find Isaac and Rebekah with the same
problem. Rebekah comes to the conclusion that if her son marries outside
the people of God, she would regard her life as becoming useless. In
Genesis 28:1, Isaac called and blessed Jacob saying unto him, "Thou
shalt not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan." Now in these
passages from the book of Genesis we are clearly able to see the
attitude these folks had concerning who God expected them to marry.
And, according to these patriarchs, God's people were to marry God's
people!
Moving on, we are now going to examine God's feelings toward this
subject in the second dispensation, or the Mosaical law.
(Read Deuteronomy 7:1-6) In relation to us today, the same thing still
applies. We today are a chosen people of God and we are a specia1
people; we are the Lord's. And because of this, there are certain
requirements that He expects of us. He teaches us that we are not to be
unequally yoked with unbelievers, or those who are outside the kingdom
of God. In verse 4 He states that if these parents allow their sons to
marry the daughters of other people, and likewise their daughters to
marry the sons of other people, they will then begin to worship strange
gods. Obviously, we can learn from these Scriptures that when the
children of God marry those outside the family of God, they are led away
to serve other gods. Now there are except1ons to this. There are those
who are in the church today because of the influence of a spouse, and I
am one of them. But we need to understand that marriage cannot be used
as a way to convert someone we care for, because it is too risky and
there is too much at stake.
(Read Ezra 9:1-4) Ezra was approached with the news that even the
leaders of Israel had not separated themselves from the strange women of
heathen lands. Ezra got so upset that he tore his clothes, pulled the
hair out of his head, and yanked the beard from his face. Why was he so
upset? He heard that God's people were marrying outside the family of
God - a "trespass." Now concerning the priests of God under the law of
Moses, Ezekiel 44:22 says, "Neither shall they take for their wives a
widow, nor her that is put away: but they shall take maidens of the seed
of the house of Israel, or a widow that had a priest before." The
priests were required to marry a virgin of their own people.
They could not even marry a widow unless she was the widow of a priest.
And according to Revelation 1:5,6, today, we are all priests-the royal
priesthood. And from this passage along with the others we have studied
thus far, the Scriptures plainly support the idea that people of God are
commanded to marry the people of God.
(Read 2 Cor. 6: 14-18) Christians are not to be unequally yoked with
unbelievers. This Scripture, I believe, can be applied to many aspects
in our lives, but one of the most important applications it has is the
marriage vow. Who is it that we spend the most of our time with? Is it
not our mate? Paul argues that we are not to be unequally yoked with
unbelievers!
In 1 Corinthians 9 we find Paul being scrutinized. Folks were saying
that he was different from Peter and the other apostles. So, in verse 5,
he mentions one of the differences was that he was a single man. But
Paul says that he has a right to have a sister, a wife. Now you might be
wondering what exactly is he saying here? Well, the N.I.V.
states it this way, "Don't we have the right to take a believing wife
along with us, as do the other apostles and the Lord's brothers and
Cephas?" The American Standard Version translates this way: "Have we not
right to lead about a wife that is a sister?" There are two key words
that can be taken from these translations - "Believing sister." Paul
doesn't simply say he has a right to be married, but he restricts
himself in saying, "I have the right to be married to a sister." I feel
that it is important that our young people be made aware of this
subject. After all, our young people are the future of the Lord's
church. And when your young folks start off on the wrong foot, the
church will suffer in the end. I would like to stress the point to you
this morning that it is not wrong to date outside of the church, but
will emphasize that it is very dangerous!
I would like to say to our young folks that there are warning signs that
you can look for when dating outside the church and for that matter,
signs that you can look for when dating within the church. Take time to
evaluate your relationship "before" it gets too serious. Question
yourself, "Will this boy or this girl help me get to heaven?" And if you
cannot answer this question with an honest "Yes," you need to stop this
relationship immediately. One thing for sure, and that is if you cannot
talk about scriptural things while dating, don't fool yourself into
believing that this will get any better after you are married. There
might be exceptions to this, but the odds are definitely not in your
favor. Marriage is supposed to be a lifetime commitment and when there
are spiritual differences, most likely, you wil1 be ,n for a lifetime of
misery, and you wil1 suffer spiritually because of it.
I would like to remind our teenagers that at one time all of us
experienced what you are going through. This time in your life can be
awkward, and you might be wondering if you will ever find that right
person. Well, my advice to you is, please be patient, and above all, go
to God in prayer about your feelings.
Do your homework on the individual you are interested in. We are living
in a time and age with so many marriages ending in divorce. Far too
often a young person places the majority of their importance on the
outward beauty rather than the inward beauty of the heart. We know this
to be a fact, because the apostle Peter warns women In 1 Peter 3:3-5 not
to trust in their outward beauty or adornment to hold a husband. He says
of the Christian woman, "Whose adorning let it not be that outward
adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold or of putting on
of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, In that which is
not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is
in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old
time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being
in subjection unto their own husbands."
There is a word that I believe describes marriage very well. That word
is "commitment." I would like to remind our young people who are single,
unless you are willing to make a disciplined commitment to another
person's welfare, you have no right and you nave no business being
married, because there will be times in your marriage when your opinions
will differ. There will be times in your marriage when things do not go
your way. These are going to be trying times for you! These are the
times when a disciplined commitment to your mate's well being, along
with your prayers to God, are the only two things that will see you
through.
You need to prepare yourselves by understanding that marriage will not
always be easy. And I stress the word "discipline" because you need to
understand that you might not always get to do what you want to do,
spend as much as you would like to spend, or get to go where you would
like to go. And because of these things you need to discipline
yourselves, and consider the welfare of others in your home.
In conclusion, I would like to make one final comment to you young
people, please give serious consideration to the decisions you are faced
with, because marriage is a lifetime commitment that will bring lifetime
consequences.
3856 Mud Creek Rd
Adger, AL 35006-1702
